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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Creepers

Sorry for the lag in updates.

This is going to be an interesting, and probably lengthy post, both to make up for my lack thereof, and because I am in an interesting mood.

First off, if any of you out there have played Minecraft, you are probably well acquainted with the creatures known as creepers.  They are green, have four legs, look sad... and explode when they touch you.  Now they may look sad, but anyone who has ever come across one in the game is likely to hate them with a burning vengeance.  One minute you are there, a lowly n00b in the world of Minecraft.  You have hardly been playing for a couple hours, and have seen these things a few times(or you are a poon and have it on peaceful difficulty), but have steered clear.  Now it is daytime, and, mistakenly, you think you are safe.  You are building your first castle our of cobblestone!  You worked hard, mined forever, finally made a few iron tools, and are building your first masterpiece.  After building up for a while, you move back down to the front.  The door needs to be elegant.  You make the wall double thick!  You put in some windows, put up torches, add a door or two, make a pathway.  You go ALL OUT on this grand entrance.
 It is getting late in the day, and you are just finishing up work on this most grand of accomplishments when you hear a noise you are not familiar with.  sssssssssSSSSSSS.  You get frightened and turn promptly around only to be face to face with one of those green horrors... those weird fuckers that stare at you with that unbelievably morose frown.  A creeper.  Fuck.  You don't even have time to swing.  KA-BLAM!  The blast kills you instantly.  FUCK.  'Whatever, I'll just run back!' you think to yourself.  You then realize that your spawn point is set and you have to search for your castle for half an hour before you finally get to it.
By this time, it is surely night again, as you come upon your castle.  'I'll just throw up some torches!' you exclaim cheerily as you open up your inventory.  Nothing.  FUCK!  'Whatever, I'll go pick up the stuff.'  Wrong again.  Even IF you managed to get back to the spot within the roughly five minute time slot you have to pick up that which you dropped, the majority, if not all of it, would have been destroyed by the blast from the creeper.  FUCK!!!  'Omg, I'm so pissed!'  Hah.  You're in for it now.  As soon as you finish crying over your lost inventory, you look away from the crater in the ground that marks your violent death up to the entrance of your castle.  Yep, THAT entrance.  The one you worked on diligently for half an hour alone until you had it absolutely PERFECT.  It's gone.  Completely.  The close proximity of the creeper blast tore your entrance apart.  FUCK!!!1!111  Ragequit.
 Yep.  That is pretty much what all new players in Minecraft have to go through.  I happens after that as well, but not as often.  Past that though, it is an absolutely WONDERFUL game.  It is still in beta, and it has continuous updates.  It appeals to everyone.  If you are creative, obsessive compulsive, like PvP games, like adventure games, like open ended games, like playing alone, like playing with other people, are hungry, or if your left hand is touching your face, you should try this game! http://www.minecraft.net/

Moving right along, this is the real subject material of my post today.  Real life creepers.  That kid who never talked to anyone in school, but sniffed girls hair when they weren't looking.  Creeper.  That old guy who ogles you from the other side of the bus.  Creeper.  The person you never actually see because he is always at home glued to his computer, and has no friends except on the internet.  Creeper.  That brings us to the specific example I am complaining about.  Facebook creepers.  The guy who add people that they don't really know.  When you check their friends list, 90% of them are girls, 90% of which he's never met.  If you actually know him, I feel sorry for you.  Even though you either try hard to ignore him, or possibly even hate him (though I don't know why you would have him added then...), he will comment on your profile.  Whether on your new status, your pictures, your friends' comments,  or anything else.  He.  Will.  Comment.  And it will usually be creepy.  'You look really hot in that dress!'  This type of comment particularly creeps you out, but you don't want to do anything about it, because you are actually AFRAID that he might be outside your window.
I have recently come across one such creeper.  As it turns out, that special breed of person doesn't react well to direct confrontation.  Nor do they react well to the truth.  They made a big, creepy problem over me calling them what they are.

Anyone else ever encounter creepers?  Of any kind (yes, even Minecraft).  I want to hear about it!  How would you handle a creeper?  Do you think I did it wrong?  Please leave your comments below!  Tell me all about your creeper experiences, or responses to things I've said.  And of course, if you like this blog, follow me! :D

-Because I Make Sense

14 comments:

  1. Shoot them with arrows. Also, I have a safe house with chests full of gear at my spawn point.

    Not to familiar with real life creepers. Seen a few, they would probably explode if they actually touched anyone too.

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  2. I love creepers. I like their style.

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  3. I ignore creepers but if they get in my business then i tell them to back off.

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  4. I've been hearing of Minecraft like everywhere, really need to check it out.

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  5. I guess I have to try playing minecraft since my left hand was touching my face when I read this. Crap. And: http://www.xkcd.com/861/
    I feel good about things.

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  6. That game sounds pretty fun..I'll have to look into it.

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  7. Creepers are potential school shooters

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  8. Never seen real life creepers. They sound annoying.

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  9. wow real life creepers...lol...i actually just started playing minecraft

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  10. I've played minecraft once. Too simple for me

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  11. creepers, creepers everywhere.

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  12. Thanks for the tip to try minecraft; it seems that since everyone recommends it, I'll have to try it.

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  13. Haha, I can see that you hate creepers.

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